NEED.TO.VENT

or not... I'm still unsure if I will be accepted into the master's program that I have been dreaming of for a couples years now. At this point I'm just frustrated, with myself. I won't know for a while if I will be accepted and now my file is "shakey" and I may need to take the GRE. Ick. If I have to take it I will but I am really hoping that I will not need to. I didn't score as high (by two points) as I needed on the first entrance exam I took. They are longer accepting that exam for future terms so they may require me to take the GRE, especially because my score was lower (by two points: 398/400) than accepted for the current term.

This weekend is the deadline for applications to the May term. I am wanting to be accepted for the August term. This means I probably won't know anything concrete until August, just before the term begins. I hope to hear back from the admissions rep in a week or two about whether or not they can accept the exam I've already taken, even if it is a little short on points. If I had applied for the May term I would probably be ok.

I hope this all irons itself out. If nothing else at least I'm not taking classes this summer and can study for the GRE if absolutely needed. I'm concerned that even if I do study my butt off I may not get a high enough score on that one. Please pray for me!


Ah...writing and thinking things out really helps me. Thanks for "listening!"

Shakey Experience

Tonight, on my way home from the K-State Hale Library after working on a project due this weekend, I almost killed someone. Literally. Ok, it would not have been on purpose and I really don't know if they would have died. WOW! I am so shaken by this it is hard to type.

At around 10:15, while driving through a construction zone on Tuttle Creek Blvd, an older model, light colored car pulled out directly in front of me. There were a line of cars behind me. I slammed on my breaks and the horn and stopped within three feet of the car, if that. The problem was not only did the person pull out in front of me (IDIOT MOVE!) , they were trying to make a left turn at a spot you can NOT turn left! The road is currently two lanes in this area, at the intersection of Walters and Tuttle Creek. There is NO turning left. And then to just pull out in front of on-coming traffic like that! What were they thinking?

As far as I could tell there was only one person in the vehichle- the driver. I didn't have time to notice anyone else. I was going 50-55 mph and they were going maybe 5. I have no idea if the person was otherwise distracted (cell phone?) because my lights were reflecting back at me. All I saw was the person. I, on the other hand, was on my cell phone. Shaun had requested that I call to tell him I was on my way out of the library because it was late and dark and he worries about my being on campus at night. I also do not like to drive at night because I'm sensitive to light and the light/dark stuff gets to me. I can drive fine in the dark on split highways and in the country because there are no lights shining at me.

I try not to talk and drive much anymore because I don't like to do so. In fact I normally have my phone on my lap and set to speakerphone in case I get a call from Shaun. At the moment of near impact the phone was held up to my ear- so Shaun should have heard my reaction to the near-death experience. All he heard (I didn't cuss!) was "I ALMOST JUST HIT SOMEONE WHO PULLED OUT IN FRONT OF ME!" after I slammed on my breaks and hit the horn. I'm surprised I'm so talented, if you want to call it that. I am amazed that I had such a quick reaction time because of the lights around me and the fact that I was, in fact, on my phone. I quickly got off the phone while watching the person in front of me back out of the street. Good move on their part.

When I got home I was shaking so much that I sat down for a moment to tell Shaun what had just happened and then went straight to bed to get myself calmed down. I was in such shock that I couldn't think of anything but laying still and being away from noise. I wanted to be quiet, and still, and I wanted to pray because I was so greatful that I had not just been in a terrible, and most likely tragic, accident. Of course in my house that didn't last long as the older two boys were still awake, even though they should have been sound asleep. Shaun is not good at getting them to bed at a decent time if I am not there. That's my job. ARGH! Something that lasted less than a minute has really disturbed me and my stress level is way too high at the moment.

So, here I am, able to type this post, while still shaking, but alive, unharmed, and extremely greatful. Now let's see how long it takes to settle down some more so that I can get some desparately needed sleep.

A Few Recent Thoughts

...that I wish I had more time to explain.

Life, well, has been life. I'm loving it. We're staying ubber busy and I just haven't had the time to post anything that we've been doing. So here are a few updates and thoughts that I've wanted to post about. Forget the pictures, they may never make their internet debut.

Please, people...learn to park. I'm tired of people parking too close to me and having to send the carseat through the wrong side of the car to be buckled in. It's happened a couple times recently and is very annoying. Also, stop dinging my car because you've parked too close and can't get out! This seems to happen quite regularly. I park in the middle. It just makes sense.

AJ's firsts: Giggled for the first time on the evening of Saturday, Narch 20th, the day we left my grandparents' house. I was wishing they were there to hear it. Baby giggles are HEAVEN! Rolled over for the first time early yesterday morning- Shane was the only one to see it happen. He's been sooo close for so long. He rolled from his back to his belly. Go figure. He had to try the hard way first. We thought he would have rolled during spring break but he waited a couple more weeks. Ate food- baby oatmeal in breast milk to be exact. He ate several bites and really seemed to enjoy it. It was enough to take place of a regular meal- nursing. Later he got to play in his brand-new exersaucer (walker type thingy with lots of toys). He LOVED the toys and the fact that he was standing up. He loves to stand. When I took him out of that thing to feed him he finally realized that he was tired and hungry so he got fussy. Then he slept fitfully as usual. I'm working on that, can you tell? Eating food and lots of playing should make him tired enough to sleep for more than three hours in a row, right? If I remember correctly (it's been too long) I'm pretty sure the other two boys were sleeping through the night be now. In fact I know they were. I remember other people telling me how "lucky" I was. It wasn't luck- they were just very good babies. AJ is too. I just need more sleep!

This weekend Shane will be camping with scouts for the first time without Shaun in about a year. Tonight we will be having dinner with my friend, and mentor, Terrie. We're bringing her to HuHot Mongolian BBQ because she hasn't been there before and would have joined us a few weeks ago but had a class to teach that evening so we're getting to it now. She likes that type of place and of course we eat there almost weekly. Terrie and I are celebrating her receiving a teaching award, which she will be presented at my graduation. That will be a special day for both of us. Mark your calendars--- May 15th!

Tomorrow Shaun will be taking his insurance test in Topeka. We'll leaving here between 8 and 9, drive to Topeka, scope out the place he'll be testing at, go to Heather and Jeff's house to hang out, and Shaun will go back to town to take the test. He hasn't taken ANY tests since high school so he's been studying every day/evening for about a month or more now and he's been doing great at the online practice tests. According to his friends who have taken it if he's doing as well as he is on the practice exams he SHOULD easily pass. If he doesn't I'm going to blame it on his nerves. He's extremely nervous about this. He's done everything else perfectly: all the studying, training sessions, and practice tests. After his test we'll probably hang out a little longer, maybe go out to dinner, and then hit Sam's Club for our monthly/quarterly shopping. We've been there more recently this time so we don't need as much which is nice.

We had pictures taken in Texas at a JCPenny's. We weren't very happy with their service and the photos didn't turn out the best. In fact they even lost several photos of AJ due to a hardware malfunction. We weren't willing to wait another hour for photos to be taken again so we ordered a couple things and left. They arrived here a couple days ago and look better than I'd remembered. I wish I could take my own family photos! Too much work to be both in front and behind the camera... I'll post a link, if I remember to get around to it, sometime soon. I've been meaning to show those to everyone since mid-March.

I'm ALMOST into graduate school! I still need to take the Miller Analogy Test (MAT) and get a better score than the one practice test I've taken. I hope to do that later this month. I have to really. It's the only thing my admission's rep is needing from me now. After this month I won't be able to take the MAT but would have to take the GRE or some other horrible test. No thanks! I'll do the analogies test and hope for the best. My vocabulary is not as great as I thought it was... I will be studying the test-taking skills and some other materials for the next couple weeks. I still need to schedule the test too. That will help me organize my studies since I will have a set deadline.

Ok, that's already too much for today. You now have my permission to get back to whatever important things you should be doing. Thanks for reading! :) If I remember the other little items to post I will. But in shorter posts.