NEED.TO.VENT

or not... I'm still unsure if I will be accepted into the master's program that I have been dreaming of for a couples years now. At this point I'm just frustrated, with myself. I won't know for a while if I will be accepted and now my file is "shakey" and I may need to take the GRE. Ick. If I have to take it I will but I am really hoping that I will not need to. I didn't score as high (by two points) as I needed on the first entrance exam I took. They are longer accepting that exam for future terms so they may require me to take the GRE, especially because my score was lower (by two points: 398/400) than accepted for the current term.

This weekend is the deadline for applications to the May term. I am wanting to be accepted for the August term. This means I probably won't know anything concrete until August, just before the term begins. I hope to hear back from the admissions rep in a week or two about whether or not they can accept the exam I've already taken, even if it is a little short on points. If I had applied for the May term I would probably be ok.

I hope this all irons itself out. If nothing else at least I'm not taking classes this summer and can study for the GRE if absolutely needed. I'm concerned that even if I do study my butt off I may not get a high enough score on that one. Please pray for me!


Ah...writing and thinking things out really helps me. Thanks for "listening!"

Upsetting Information Due to the Flu

Ok, I get it. I fully understand. But I don't like it!

The local hospital has a new policy in effect due to the local flu outbreak. When a woman goes to deliver her baby only one support person is allowed to be in the birthing center. Only one person may be there at any time. I'm not sure if you're allowed to switch people. Most importantly, to me, is that NO CHILDREN are allowed in the birthing center at all. That means that even during labor and after delivery my sons will not be able to be there, to be part of our special day. In fact, they will not be able to meet their baby brother until we go home. So, if I still plan to stay two nights, as I'd originally wanted, Logan wouldn't get to meet AJ (or whatever we name him) until he's two or three days old. I'm not sure, but since Shane will be 13 (over 12) he may be able to come in at some point. I'll have to check. But of course that means only I will be there when he meets his brother and his dad won't be allowed since only one person can be there.

ARGH!!!!! This is extremely frustrating to me. I do get it. I really do. BUT this was not what I had planned. Why can't they just get the flu shot and be allowed in? Logan had the shot but since he's under 12 there is no hope of his being allowed in unless the policy changes by then, which may or may not happen, depending on the flu season and the local epidemic. I'm also going to check on the video recording policy. If they won't allow my sons to be there then I'd hope at least we can record it to show to them later.

My plan had been for the boys to be there once I was in active labor (not taking them out of school until we were ready to do so if needed). I wanted them, at least Shane, to be there for as much of the labor as they felt comfortable with. If Shane wanted to stay in the room, but be in a place where he couldn't see quite everything, I would have been fine with that. Logan probably would have been outside of the room for the actual delivery even though I'm sure he'd rather be there for the actual delivery. Sometimes he's too open and curious for his age. :) I don't want to traumatize my kids! I wanted the boys to be there once their brother was born as soon as possible so that this was a family experience. They are even more excited about all this than I am. Now I don't get this choice.

Seriously! I'm very bummed out about this. I'd say I'm pretty much in mourning. What I was planning and hoping for will not happen. This was a BIG part of my labor, delivery, and postpartum plans. And now, it's gone. Just like that. No longer will I be able to have my children attend the birth (or at least pre and post delivery). No longer will this be a family experience. I'm quite sad.

Of course not everything can be planned. I did not plan to have my baby during flu season, and definately not during a flu pandemic. I am trying to plan what I do have control over and this part slipped through the cracks. I know no matter how well you plan something like this it won't happen exactly as planned. But still. All I can do now is to pray that we all stay healthy and safe and that this flu pandemic is over by then and that the hospital relaxes or eliminates this policy by the time our baby is born. I can hope and pray. It's all I have.

If the policy doesn't change...I'm considering driving to Topeka (if they don't change their policy on visitors) to deliver in either the hospital or birthing center there. I might also consider a home birth which until now has worried me too much because of possible complications. Maybe I'll labor as long as possible at home and then go to the hospital (five minutes away from home) at the last possible minute and then check myself and the baby out as soon as we are allowed to do so. That seems most likely unless something changes.

You may comment on this as long as you comment on my side of things...I do fully understand the other side and do not want a lecture! Thank you.

One last thought. What happens if a pregnant woman with the flu goes into labor? Hmmm. Bet she'd be allowed in! They've already not allowed at least one support person in (the baby's father due to a fever) since this policy was implemented.

Tidbits of Today's Thoughts

It has been a while since I blogged. Oops! Life took over as usual. It's been a crazy month. Here are a few of my recent thoughts:

1. People who get lost in K-State's new parking garage make me laugh. Seriously people? It's not that big! I'm still trying to decide if the price is worth parking there. We'll see.

2. I'm pregnant, not broken. I'm pregnant, not dumb. YES this pregnancy was planned. NO I'm not regretting it. YES my children's ages are very spread out. YES I am cute with this protruding belly; I don't mind saying so and I don't mind hearing it. WHY do I feel like I have to complain when I am asked how I'm doing knowing full well that random people I don't know that well ask me and are referring only to my pregnancy. I'm a person too you know! My life contains many aspects, pregnancy just being the most obvious at this point. Overall I am doing wonderful and loving it! YES I have some discomfort from pregnancy and YES my back aches. NO I'm not bloated, yet.

3. My boss is great! Today she decided we needed to have an ice cream social so that I could show off my 3D baby pics to some friends working down the hall. She announced this to me as she was walking out the door to a meeting. I had the small ice cream social while she was gone. :) I guess that was her plan. It was fun. She had provided the ice cream. I provided the pictures to look at. It was me and three others. What a nice late afternoon break!

4. YES, the 3D sono pics and perhaps the video (if I can upload it) will be online, probably tonight since I'm procrastinating on watching an online lecture!

5. My kids are aggravating me a lot lately. Probably because I'm always tired and therefore moody. They seem to be very loud. Logan fusses too much and doesn't think he has an "indoor voice." Shane isn't applying himself, anywhere, at times. Otherwise they are wonderful boys who just want to hug and cuddle with me A LOT. Yes, that annoys me at times but I deal with it. I love their hugs and cuddles too much to let it annoy me for very long. I'm very blessed!

Hmmm. There were three or four other thoughts that I'd tried to share however blogger has been giving me problems. Here's the short version of those:

6. Shaun has been great, most of the time. :) He's been spoiling me with meals in bed once in while and has been very understanding when I am tired and grouchy. He knows when to avoid me. He has also helped me to complete a couple photography assignments for an online class. I have a hard time being inspired for this class just because I am tired and don't want to do things by deadlines. He helps me to meet the deadlines though and has been having fun learning along side of me.

7. I have started the application process for graduate school. I am still planning to go to Creighton, in Omaha but mostly online, for Dispute Resolution and Negotiation with an emphasis on educational institutions. I tried to link this earlier but that was what started my half hour of blogging problems so I'm not going to do it again! Shaun "mentally clapped" his hands for me Monday when I called to inform him that I have decided to go ahead with the August enrollment for my application. The admissions rep assigned to me suggested that since this is a very competitive application process and only 15 people are allowed into each class that I should apply for May or June instead of waiting for the August class due to the number of students who apply for the more traditional start dates. I was told that my GPA and career goals will be a great fit for them and that I should have no problem with being accepted so I decided that I, and my family, deserve a few months break before I continue my college career. Summers are hectic enough around here and I really want to have a short time without coursework. Adding a baby to our summer baseball schedule will be enough to handle! I decided if I am not accepted in the August class then I will apply for a later class whenever offered, most likely the following January, May, or June. As long as I get in eventually I will be fine.

8. I use contractions too often so I'm cutting back.

9. There was something else... Oh well! I'll do another post if I remember and deem it important or random enough.


These were just a few "thinks" I thought I would share. :)

The End.

Laptop Update

Today I am at home with a migraine which I woke up with yesterday. I REALLY wish that I had my laptop working again so that I could be in bed checking my email and doing work for my online course, but no! The battery has not yet arrived because, as we found out late last week, the government had a hold on shipping batteries until January 16. What? Really? Why the heck did we pay for overnight shipping then? The company didn't even tell us this until we called wondering where the heck the battery was that was supposed to be here Wednesday. So, they said that our battery will be shipped out on the 17th. Nice. We pay for overnight shipping and have to wait at least ten freaking days! It would have been nice if they could have told us this upfront, but apparently they didn't mention this on their website and we didn't know anything about it until we called them. In fact, after the order was placed we received a confirmation email stating that the battery would be shipped within 24 hours. YEAH, RIGHT! I sure hope I really need that battery and nothing more is wrong with my laptop because this is rediculous!

Now I will go back to bed, after checking to see which chapters I need to finish reading for tonight's online quiz. UGH! I had planned to read the chapters yesterday but I slept most of the afternoon and didn't get to it. Luckily my migraine isn't as bad now as is has been. I've been drinking lots of OJ and eating well hoping that the sugars and Vitamin C may help a bit since the ibuprofen isn't helping much at all.

Unhappiness

Last night I went straight home after the boys' karate graduation to take an online test and found out my computer wasn't working. ARGH! First I thought it was just dead so I plugged it in, waited, waited more, still not working. Then I plugged it in a different outlet, waited, still not working. Then I popped out the battery (easier said than done) and popped it back in, waited, waited more, still not working. ARGGGGHHHH!

The online test had to be completed by 10 pm so I went downstairs to use the one in the office. It's not been kept updated so I had to download the newest version of the internet browser, waiting yet again forever, then finally got online. By the time I got to the online test I only had about 45 mintues left. It's timed for 75 minutes, yet due at 10:00 no matter what, so I still only had 45 minutes to complete a 50 question test. Ouch! Luckily I'm a fast reader so I went through all the questions, anwering most of them, then went back through them all and put more thought into any that I was unsure of. It's an online, closed book, on-your-honor test. I got a 78%. Actually, that's not bad considering I seem to have a solid C in the two-week intersession course on Political Science. My first test was a 68%. I'm hoping that the paper I finished early yesterday evening will help my grade, however I was not sure that I did it correctly, so we'll see. (Have I mentioned that I earned FIVE A's this past semester!?!)

I'm very aggrivated that my laptop when out on me. I haven't had any real problems with it until this. It's very annoying that it chooses now, when I'm extremely depending on it to complete this online intersession course, to poop out on me. I AM NOT HAPPY! So, last night I determined it was the battery, or the charger, and we ordered a new battery. It was more than I wanted to spend so we'll wait until I receive it, tomorrow, then I'll figure out if I need a new charger (another relatively big expense). Since it wouldn't even turn on I'm pretty sure this is the issue. The battery was dead when I'd left for work and since I hadn't plugged it in it's the only thing that makes sense, although the battery has died numerous times before without going this far. Not to mention that the only light showing up on the strand of lights was the battery light, and then ultimately nothing.

If my laptop isn't up and running by later this week I'm going to be very irked with myself. I'd bought an external hard drive in October and haven't backed up my computer since sometime in November. No excuses there. I just didn't do it. Our main concern are all the photos, and especially all the family photos taken since the last backup, including our vacation.

Breathing, breathing...

If I get my computer up and running again within the next couple days or so I'll post pics of the karate graduation. Don't hold your breathe!