Ok, I get it. I fully understand. But I don't like it!
The local hospital has a new policy in effect due to the local flu outbreak. When a woman goes to deliver her baby only one support person is allowed to be in the birthing center. Only one person may be there at any time. I'm not sure if you're allowed to switch people. Most importantly, to me, is that NO CHILDREN are allowed in the birthing center at all. That means that even during labor and after delivery my sons will not be able to be there, to be part of our special day. In fact, they will not be able to meet their baby brother until we go home. So, if I still plan to stay two nights, as I'd originally wanted, Logan wouldn't get to meet AJ (or whatever we name him) until he's two or three days old. I'm not sure, but since Shane will be 13 (over 12) he may be able to come in at some point. I'll have to check. But of course that means only I will be there when he meets his brother and his dad won't be allowed since only one person can be there.
ARGH!!!!! This is extremely frustrating to me. I do get it. I really do. BUT this was not what I had planned. Why can't they just get the flu shot and be allowed in? Logan had the shot but since he's under 12 there is no hope of his being allowed in unless the policy changes by then, which may or may not happen, depending on the flu season and the local epidemic. I'm also going to check on the video recording policy. If they won't allow my sons to be there then I'd hope at least we can record it to show to them later.
My plan had been for the boys to be there once I was in active labor (not taking them out of school until we were ready to do so if needed). I wanted them, at least Shane, to be there for as much of the labor as they felt comfortable with. If Shane wanted to stay in the room, but be in a place where he couldn't see quite everything, I would have been fine with that. Logan probably would have been outside of the room for the actual delivery even though I'm sure he'd rather be there for the actual delivery. Sometimes he's too open and curious for his age. :) I don't want to traumatize my kids! I wanted the boys to be there once their brother was born as soon as possible so that this was a family experience. They are even more excited about all this than I am. Now I don't get this choice.
Seriously! I'm very bummed out about this. I'd say I'm pretty much in mourning. What I was planning and hoping for will not happen. This was a BIG part of my labor, delivery, and postpartum plans. And now, it's gone. Just like that. No longer will I be able to have my children attend the birth (or at least pre and post delivery). No longer will this be a family experience. I'm quite sad.
Of course not everything can be planned. I did not plan to have my baby during flu season, and definately not during a flu pandemic. I am trying to plan what I do have control over and this part slipped through the cracks. I know no matter how well you plan something like this it won't happen exactly as planned. But still. All I can do now is to pray that we all stay healthy and safe and that this flu pandemic is over by then and that the hospital relaxes or eliminates this policy by the time our baby is born. I can hope and pray. It's all I have.
If the policy doesn't change...I'm considering driving to Topeka (if they don't change their policy on visitors) to deliver in either the hospital or birthing center there. I might also consider a home birth which until now has worried me too much because of possible complications. Maybe I'll labor as long as possible at home and then go to the hospital (five minutes away from home) at the last possible minute and then check myself and the baby out as soon as we are allowed to do so. That seems most likely unless something changes.
You may comment on this as long as you comment on my side of things...I do fully understand the other side and do not want a lecture! Thank you.
One last thought. What happens if a pregnant woman with the flu goes into labor? Hmmm. Bet she'd be allowed in! They've already not allowed at least one support person in (the baby's father due to a fever) since this policy was implemented.
12 years ago
7 comments:
Hopefully the rule will change. You still got a month and a halfish! I have my fingers crossed. Also, home deliveries sketch me out. a lot. Don't ask me why, they just do. :)
I know it's a long drive, but I had Spencer at the birth center and it was WONDERFUL! Seriously. And you know I'm a homebirth fan... good luck. It totally sucks! It also means doulas can't attend births at the hospital. I do NOT support this policy. At all.
I am considering the birthing center in Topeka, but I'm noncommittal. If I could have what I want here I'd prefer not to drive so I don't know if I'm going to want to switch at the last minute. I do like my doctor. I asked about doulas right away. Apparently I was the first to ask him. He hadn't thought of that but said that I was right, that doulas can't be there if a spouse or other support person will be. I wish I felt better about homebirths but with no midwives around here and no one that supports it strongly I'm not wanting to do it. If I had someone I thoroughly trusted to assist in a home birth I would consider it more seriously now. I'm only a few minutes from the hospital so on the off chance that we needed emergency care it would be quick to get there.
I'm so sorry that this has happened! Of course, if I made it there before the birth I would be outside anyways....you saw how I got squeamish before when my baby had a baby!
I'm all for the home births! I'd totally go for it if you can find a midwife and everything is okay. I'm so planning on doing home births if possible.
That really sucks (for lack of a better word). I would be very bummed, too. But remember that however it turns out you will have a beautiful baby boy and his brothers will be thrilled whether they meet him right away or not. This news is probably far more traumatic for you than it is for them at this point! However, I totally understand looking for an alternative to that nonsense and would do the same exact thing!
I don't know if the AP group in Manhattan is still active but there were definitely homebirths happening within that group when I was there. I am certain if any of those women are still around they could give you information about midwives and such. And if you do go to the hospital there, hopefully after the new rules are enforced for a couple of weeks they will see how ridiculous and pointless they really are and they will be more reasonable by the time you are there.
Attachment parenting...I will see if I can get in contact with anyone I knew when I was there. The La Leche League would also be a great resource - a lot of the women in the AP group were also involved in LLL.
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