1/8th Inch

You know, it seems crazy that something so very tiny can make such a HUGE difference in your life. Now it's about 1/4", or the size of a tic tac. IT being my baby, or if you'd prefer, an embryo which will soon be a fetus and then my baby. No matter which way you say it it's my baby. YES: I'M PREGNANT! The past few weeks have been quite a roller coaster for me. Did you know they now make morning sickness medicine? Seriously! What a miracle drug, when I remember to take it (FTAN= First Trimester Anti-Nausea medication). I have somehow gained at least six pounds when with each of my other two pregnancies I lost weight during the first trimester. It doesn't help that I'm starting this one about 40 lbs over weight. I was within my "ideal" weight when I started with each of the boys.

Besides being overly tired, cranky, impatient, nauseous, constantly lightheaded, and feeling like I'll pass out at any moment, I've been doing very well. Being sick is the best predictor that I know of for a healthy early pregnancy. So, sick I am. I'll deal with it. I'll get through it. I just hope this time it subsides and doesn't last all the way through the pregnancy. I can wish!

I decided to go ahead and break the news because even if something does happen and I miscarriage I'll be ok. I would rather have people know why I'm upset and missing work, church, or other activities if I do have a miscarriage rather than keeping it a secret. I'm not that type of person. I also can't keep my own secrets very long (although I'm great at keeping my friends' secrets). IF something happened I would want the loving support of my friends and family. This is what led me to this decision. I'm not the type to keep quiet about something so amazing and important to me in my life. So, I plan to have a great pregnancy and to have lots of fun with it. Why not? It may not happen again. I loved being pregnant with my boys (minus the yucky side effects of morning sickness, feeling like a whale or baby machine, the heartburn, and the whole labor/birthing process). Most of all I loved feeling the baby within myself. I loved the kicks, the hiccups (if that's what they really were) and body parts pushing at my insides. It truly is amazing and the most awesome miracle I could ever ask for.

Haha! Now that I look back at my babbling I've noticed that I haven't given you much of a clue as to how far along I am. Until this past Tuesday we truly didn't know. Since I have had irregular cycles for the past nine months we were guessing I was anywhere between a month along and two-three months along. In actuallity I am currently, as of today, at seven weeks. (I know, I'm breaking my silence very early!) My due date is December 17, 2009. This happens to fall just after Fall finals here at K-State so I should be able to get at least most of the way through the semester. I'm determined to have this baby at least a week early, if all is healthy and well and the baby is ready. I don't want to get too close to my due date because if I had with my boys they each would have been over nine pounds. No thank you! I had them each early, without assistance of induction. We'll see if I can talk my body into doing it again.

On Tuesday we went in for a sonogram that literally took maybe five mintues. It was just long enough to see where the baby was, verify there is only one, and see the little heart beating. It was such a relief to see it! Since I was on Clomid last month but had had a very light period and low hormonal levels and then spotted early this month (they told me I hadn't even ovulated- ha! I proved them wrong) we wondered if possibly I'd gotten pregnant in late January or February. I hadn't had a pregnancy test in a while so we really didn't know. Clomid also slightly increases the likelyhood of multiples. One baby was good news, although we would have welcomed more if that's what we'd been given. Another reason we thought maybe I was further along- my clothes don't fit! I have somehow gone from being a bit overweight to being pregnant and actually looking it! I can not hide the fact that my belly appeared almost overnight. Seriously! It's like it remembered what it was supposed to look like at four months and decided to make me look that way. ARG! I'm not even that far yet! I'm not looking forward to seeing how big I grow this time...

Overall we are happy and a bit overwhelmed. Even though this pregnancy was completely planned we weren't really ready to go through it all again! (Are you ever?) Now we're getting used to the idea of having a baby to care for and love. We're planning for room rearrangements at home and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get through my last two semesters of my undergrad: one while very pregnant and the next with an infant. We'll manage as we always do and I'm sure this child will be a blessing to our family. This is the addition I've prayed and patiently awaited for. So there you go! You know now. Soon everyone that sees me regularly will know simply because my belly is not hiding very well. Happy days!