Welcoming Back a Social Life

Yes, I have been away the online and social life for a while, for a few good reasons. I been raising my children, working full time, and going to school. I have been beyond swamped! I like it that way though. I like to be busy, to be constantly doing things that I enjoy. I thrive on learning. I love every minute I spend with my family. I enjoy working in higher education.

Who has time for a social life with all that? Well, truthfully, I have on and off. I have always tried to make time for those who are important to me. This would mean visiting family when I have the time and money to do so, having a girls' night out with friends locally, and visiting with friends in Topeka after Logan's Saturday football games during the fall. My sister Betsy also got to visit us for a very inspiring weekend at a women's conference and for Shane's birthday dinner.

I believe I have learned to defy the limits of time. I have made time to enjoy life while doing everything that I need to for my children and completing my education, both of which are very important to me.

Now I am done with school. YAY! I completed a Master's of Science in Negotiation and Dispute Resolution from Creighton University School of Law in December 2011. You would think this would give me some "extra" time. Not really. Actually, not at all.

You see, after graduation came the holidays which meant parties and a short vacation to Texas to see my mom and Lester and my grandparents. My grandparents sold their home so we helped them decide what they would be taking with them to move... to our house! Yep! This past couple months we have been preparing for my grandparents to move in, helped them move in, and are trying to help them settle into our crazy lives. We are all enjoying each others' company. The boys and Shaun love having them there. I especially love having them there. I have not had family living in the same state as me, besides Shaun's parents who are our neighbors, in about 14 years. It was hard for me to have my family so far away. It still is but now I have my grandparents, who are absolutely wonderful. I still hold on to the idea that more of my family will move back to the state or at least within half a day's drive so we can visit each other more often.

Over the past couple months I have regained a bit of social life. I have had game parties at my house, had friends and family (Shaun's) over for dinner, had time to have lunch with friends, been able to read for fun, helped throw a last minute bridal shower, attended a baby shower, and had time to chat with friends over the phone or internet. There have also been a few baked goods appearing in my house; my sons reminded me how much I love to bake. I have stayed just as busy as before but in different ways.

A social life, to many people, includes online interaction, such as blogs, Facebook, Google+, and other similar sites. For me it has included Skyping with my sisters. I rarely get online to Facebook. This is the first blog entry I have done in a year. I figure if there is anything important happening in the lives my friends or family my husband, other family members, or friends will tell me directly. It is not that I am avoiding Facebook or Google+. I simply do not "need" them to help me live my life. I have enjoyed the freedom of not checking friends' statuses regularly. Yes, I like to know what people are up to, what excites them or upsets them, but I am not going to take time to browse Facebook for lengths of time like many people do. If I am on Facebook it is usually just long enough to respond to a message or check up on my son's activities online. While there I may "like" or "share" something someone has said or occasionally share something happening in my family's life.

I am now spending time enjoying life. I enjoy the quiet moments I have to play a card game with my grandparents, read a book, bake bread, shuttle my sons to their various activities, or simply clean a room in my house. While I am busy I am pacing myself so that I enjoy these moments more.

Social life? Sure, when I make the time to do something with a friend, or have dinner alone with my husband at a nice restaurant. To me having a meal with a friend means more than reading their status online. Having time to enjoy my grandparents, Shaun, and my sons at home means more than anything to me. I plan to spend this weekend at home. Most likely I will be found cleaning, organizing, baking, playing a game, or reading. (Oh, and hunting for a couple more baby items to send to my sister Golda!)

This is how I am welcoming back the life I have had to arrange around school for the past few years. Now I have time to relish in the time spent being me, not being a student, but being a mother, a wife, a granddaughter, a friend. This is what keeps me busy these days. I LOVE IT!

Take time to spend with those whom you love now. You may not have the time to do so later.

Graduation and EXTRA Time

YAY!!!! WAHOO!!!! I've done it. I've finally completed my Bachelors of Science in Family Studies and Human Services (with an 'emphasis' in Coflict Resolution).

Now what do I do? Well, since I've been asked this question numerous times over the past couple days, and even weeks, I'm going to tell you. I plan to continue my education. I'm sure this is not new news. I've blogged about my dreams of continuing my education a few times in the past. I'm hoping to do so online via Creighton's Masters in Negotiation and Dispute Resolution program. See recent news about the application process here. I will find out more soon, and then find out if I have been accepted in August. I am very much a planner so waiting that long may be excruiating. I'll deal with it by staying busy, as usual.

Second question answered: Will this mean that I receive a raise or a promotion? NOPE. Not happening. My job doesn't work that way. This was just a stepping stone for me to get to the point that I could start my masters. Once I have a masters I plan to change jobs, hopefully. I love my job and my boss but I hope to work more directly with conflict resolution on campus. Right now I envision myself, someday, working in the School of Family Studies and Human Services as an instructor and somehow helping to assistant/associate direct/coordinate the conflict resolution program. However, there are a few different options for working in higher education conflict resolution so if other opportunities present themselves I may consider them.

Ok, so on to the next question I have been answsering non-stop. What will I do with all the extra time that I will have now that I have graduated? SERIOUSLY? What extra time? I never had time to take classes in the first place! I MADE the time to work my butt off after my children were asleep at night, on weekends, and any other time (lunches/slow evenings) that I had. I worked HARD to make time. It was never easy. So now, now that I have all this "free time," I plan to return to normal life. I plan to spend even more time with my husband and children, who really haven't missed out on time with me anyway because of my excellent time management skills, and spend a bit more time keeping the house clean. Yes, alas, I must do better at keeping my house cleaner. It annoys me that I haven't been making time to do that. Oh well, it's waited. Also, this summer we will have a LOT of time spent at baseball practices and games. Then, if all goes well, I will start the online masters program. See? NO EXTRA TIME!

Now to cook dinner (oh yeah, I'm cooking more again, too) and get Shane to his first baseball practice of the summer. I think I will take time to read while he practices and Logan plays with AJ nearby.

Sleep

Update: It's now 10:18. They're both asleep! Shane didn't read because he planned to sleep in Logan's room so that Logan would sleep in his own room. He fell asleep about 9:30. Logan came into my room at 10:10 and was asleep by 10:15. Figures!

Bedtime

It's a few minutes after 8 here and I am dreading bedtime. Yep, that's right. I dread it. My kids should be very tired and ready for bed but this is not usually the case.

Shane likes to stay up too late reading. I like that he likes to read but his light never gets turned off and he stays up late reading almost every night. I normally fall asleep before him, and sometimes before his lights out time.

Logan's another story. He's impossible! Let's think back to about six and a half years ago. As a baby Logan moved into his own room at about 5 1/2 months old to sleep there every night. He was super easy to put to bed. I'd simply lay him down and he'd either go right to sleep or talk to himself a little and then go to sleep. Either way he didn't cry and he fell asleep very easily. However, about three years ago, Logan stopped being so easy at bedtime. Now he whines, screams, cries, everything and anything to not sleep in his own room. IF I let him fall asleep in my room, whether he'll be moved to his own bed later or not, he goes right to sleep. IF he is allowed to fall asleep downstairs near Shaun, he'll usually go right to sleep. However, if he is forced to sleep in his room he all of a sudden gets separation anxiety. He refuses to "sleep alone." He says he as to "sleep with somebody." His words.

A few times, to solve this issue, I've repeatedly stayed in his room until he falls asleep, normally 30 minutes or so. I'll continue this for a couple weeks or longer but it never lasts. It takes too long to get him to sleep. It also doesn't matter how many times I do this, he still wants to sleep near Shaun or I. Recently he's given in and slept in Shane's room or let Shane to sleep in his room near him a couple times. Unfortunately he will still not, at almost seven years old, sleep in his own room by himself all night. In fact, most nights that he is moved to his own room he'll find his way back to my bed. It doesn't seem to matter what I do!

Any ideas? Should I even worry about this? Because I've grown so accustomed to having Logan in my bed frequently I do feel secure knowing he's beside me but I'd really rather him be in his own room so that both he and I could get used to it again. I don't like him sleeping in my bed and I never have. He kicks, turns all around in the bed during the night, and has recently started to talk a little in his sleep.

What do I do? On one hand I just want to sleep and I want him to get a good night's sleep. For now it seems that he does this best in my bed. I even put a pillow between us so that he can't roll into me or me into him. It helps a bit with his tossing and turning. On the other hand, I want him to "grow up" and sleep in his own room every night, without being put there once he's asleep. He NEEDS to fall asleep on his own in his own bed. Doesn't he?

This is were picking my battles with my kids gets confusing. This is a battle that I've chosen to fight for so long. I'm tired of fighting it. I wish he'd just decided to sleep in his own room and make this easy on me! Maybe I should let Logan win this one. It's not about winning, just about sleep.

Since I've dealt with this for three years, I'm giving up. I want advice. I don't know that it will help but just hearing other's opinions on this may calm my fears about my almost seven year old. Will he still be ok if he continues to sleep in my room until he decides otherwise?

Here's another picture of my bedtime avoiders!

It's Up to You

So, on and off I consider developing a photography company of my own. At some point I should get together a business plan to see how feasible this is. Any takers? I'm now trying to come up with a good name for this make-believe, possibly future, company. I want your ideas. But, before you give me all your ideas, please Google them. As you will find, all the good names are taken. Someday (hopefully within the next year if I can screw my head on straight) I will have a website and a booming business- hopefully not just the make-believe one that I often dream of.

Oh, and my website will include the senior pictures I took last year, several family portraits I've taken over the past few years (not our family), pics of my kids (without names of course), and pictures from Golda and Jeremy's wedding. Um, I need to get moving on this so that I have a website to put the wedding pics on. Did I mention that besides my future brother-in-law who is wonderful at geeky web-related stuff, I also have a good friend who has developed many, many sites? Yes, I've gotten him a good new site to do too, and a free site setup is my payment. I can maintain it once it's up. :)

Don't forget: I want your ideas!